How to Get Rid of Fears That Are Holding You Back

fearMany people are stuck in their place and do not move forward in life mainly because of the fears that they are hoarding in their minds. Most of the times people are not willing to accept that they have fear of some sort hidden deep in their mind as that might expose their vulnerability to other people and they may be perceived as being weak.

We have to understand that every human being has fears. Whenever we are attempting to do something new or try our hands on some new skill we feel fearful. But the people who succeed at the task are the ones who keep trying and keep doing the task until they get better and better at it. Eventually it becomes a habit and they find that they are doing it automatically without a thought.

Majority of the people though, stop dead in their tracks while attempting a new task or skill when they feel fearful. There are many types of fears which we will be talking about later in this article. But, for the time being let us understand that everyone has fears to some degree and it is okay to accept them as being present to at least ourselves.

Going back the memory lane, just imagine when you were a child and attempting to stand up and walk. Obviously, you cannot remember the exact details of that age but try to imagine what it might have been when you were a child. You tried to stand up but failed. You tried again but failed. But eventually you succeeded and started walking and then running, skipping and somersault.

The same was applied when you tried your hands on riding a bicycle for the first time. Maybe a few times you fell off and got hurt but eventually after doing it for a while you got so good at it that you could ride the bicycle with no hands. Did fear of failure stop you then from attempting again at the skill which you wanted to acquire? Why have you stopped now?

As we grow up our egos start bloating and we become extremely conscious of our failures and the embarrassment it might cause us. We may lose face in front of the people whom we want to impress or who admire us. Hence, our mind convinces us that it is best to stay in our comfort zone and not try again to succeed in whatever it is we want to succeed.

Every great personality in any field you can think of under the sun was first a novice and very bad at what they did. Eventually they got so better at it that people thought they were god gifted. But if you can talk to them on a personal level you will come to know how many failures they had to encounter before they started succeeding and maintaining it.

On a lighter note, it is said that if you want to torture a virtuoso to the core just make him listen to his first recording. Or show him his first piece of art. You may also find that if you compare yourself with their first piece of art or performance you are way better than them. It is also to be understood that they are no better or smarter than you are. The only difference is that they worked diligently at every aspect of their profession or art until they got better than the rest. You can achieve the same as well.

What Stops Us From Achieving Something

There are many kinds of fears which humans have. But the successful people have managed to overcome their fears or at least keep them under control while they strive towards their goals and dreams. The unsuccessful however, get so petrified that they freeze and do not take the action towards what they desire.

We have to understand that no matter how much we plan and prepare it is the actual action and the results which determine our success. Moreover, it is a constant loop of planning – executing – feedback which propels a person towards his dreams.

Some people have the notion that they need to come across a big bold idea which will get them what they desire in life. But when you intend to achieve something big you first have to conquer smaller quests and strengthen your muscles.

For example, you wouldn’t directly start climbing the Mt. Everest at your first attempt. You will first try to accomplish smaller peaks or even local peaks or a very steep path with weighted body vests and other heavy material to get yourself used to that kind of weight.

Broad Classification of Fears

Fear of Success – This is a fear which literally stops majority of the people from trying to achieve what it is they desire in life. They associate success with a lot of negative things which they have perceived to be true or have been fed into their mind by the media, peers and parents. They are fearful that if they become successful they will be left alone at the top and all their friends and close ones will move away from them. They are also afraid that people will get jealous of them and may try to do some harm to their reputation.

A simple question to ask yourself is that would you let these thought patterns stop you from achieving something great in life when you know that you have the potential to achieve greatness. In fact, if you remain stuck at the level that you are presently at, you are insulting your inner self which is always striving hard to express more through you.

Fear of Failure – This fear like fear of success stops many people from achieving success. They are more concerned with what bad things they will have to face if they fail at their venture or attempt. They are worried that people will ridicule them and they will lose face in front of others. They may also think that their self-esteem which is already battered may not survive another blow.

The best thing to do in this situation is to detach yourself and your self-esteem or self-worth from the outcomes of your attempt. Creating a plan and executing it with an objective approach is what works best for people in this category. If the plan works they can keep repeating it and if it fails then they can check what didn’t work and make the necessary changes.

There is no need to take it personally and think that you are not good enough or you always make the stupidest mistakes. Also, understand that even the smartest of people make the stupidest mistakes which will prove you to be cleverer than them even at your worst day.

There have been many instances where the top intellectual individuals on our planet, the scientists, have shown an utterly stupid or redundant arrangement in other areas of their life where even a child could have done better than them. But, they definitely are the best in their field of profession. So, know it firmly that you are good at what you are doing.

So, when you do feel that you are not good enough and are bound to fail at this new thing that you want to try, think of all the things which you already do well and also all the conquests which you successfully conquered in the past. This will give you a boost in confidence and help you attempt the task with a firm and positive mind.

Also, know that fear  is just a smoke screen appearing to be a solid wall. As you start facing the wall and attempting to break it you will be surprised that it is just smoke and everything will give way as you move forward. Eventually you will be so firm in mind that you will succeed, there will be no fear left about the things that you were totally petrified in the past.